An Open Heart

So many thoughts swirl around in this head of mine. Ideas and inspiration that I want to share with you, but my brain just won't cooperate. I sit down to begin to write and everything leaves me. Its always been a dream of mine to write. I'm convinced my children have stolen my brain cells (I'm kidding...mostly).
I've gone back and forth so many times trying to decide what to do about this blog. Keep it up and keeping trying to make my thoughts come alive or just totally take it down.
I truly don't know what I want to do, my heart is here but my words seem to fail. Maybe this summer when our remodel is over and VBS is done and ball is over I'll be able to get my thoughts down. But again I think each season comes with its own busyness. This is something I feel I would have to schedule time to do, it won't just happen I have to make time for it.
Maybe I'm being to critical. When I do find a minute to write I end up tearing it up and throwing it away because I don't like it. I try hard to measure up to great bloggers.
In all this turmoil I'm praying the Lord show me who He made me to be and quit trying to fit in to who He made others to be. Seeking out who I am. What strengths and weaknesses the Lord gave me, what God sized dreams to I want to pursue, what are my passions? Questions I ponder daily and at some moments hourly.
So far now I will leave this blog open. I will continue to seek the Lord and find His good and perfect will for my life. Maybe He'll set a fire for writing in my heart or maybe He'll show me to just let it go so until then.....

Stepping Out of the Comfort Zone

Sometimes the Lord calls us to step out of our comfort zone. It's never easy. Look at Moses, the Lord called Him to lead His people out of Egypt. Moses didn't jump right in and atomatically obey. He was scared, he was out of his comfort zone. When the Lord called Him to do this Moses argued with the Lord. He said "Well you know God, they probably won't listen to me and I'm not a good speaker. Can't you just send someone else?" But God reassured Moses that he was the man God wanted for the job. Moses looked at his own weakness instead of God's strength. The Bible says, "Then the Lord's anger burned against Moses," the Lord fully intended to equip Moses for the job if he would just trust in Him. The Lord sent Moses's brother Aaron to help him. God promises that He will never leave us or forsake us (Joshua 1:5). So why is it that when God calls us to a task that is out of our comfort zone to we tend to arguee with Him?

Last year was my first year as VBS director at our church. When I was first approached about it my thoughts atomatically went to, "Oh there is no way I can do that. I'm not an organized person or a leader". But God kind of nudged me about doing it so I gave in a did it. I'm a very insecure person and a people pleaser, so during planning I kept worrying if I was doing everything ok or would I upset anyone or was I doing it all wrong. But the Lord sent so many people around me to encourage me. He gave me a confidence I never knew I had. I took charge and led. I saw a new side to myself and really liked it. I never would have pictured myself as a leader, and especially never thought I would be good at doing it.

A few months ago I stood up and shared my testimony in front of about 200 teen girls at an event. I WAS TERRIFIED! I had prayed and prayed for the Lord to give me courage but I was still shaking like a leaf and scared to death. A few minutes before the other two ladies who were also sharing and I went on a woman wrapped her arms around our shoulders and prayed over us. I suddenly felt my fear leave and a confidence fill me. I stood up and spoke the words of how God brought me out of my darkness and began to restore me.

Recently God has called me out of my comfort zone through blogging and signing up to lead a Hello Mornings group. I can honestly say that I fret and worry that no one will read the words I write or that no one will sign up for my group. But again the Lord has provided for me. He has sent someone across my path daily to show me encouragement and support.

So it leaves me wondering, how many times to I hinder the blessings and the great things the Lord has planned for me? How often do I stand in His way while He is trying to do something great in my life? Why do I only focus on my weaknesses and  not His strengths? These are questions that I am laying before the Lord. But now that I see this I am trying to be more aware when He is trying to work through me. So the the words I leave you with today I want you to right down and pin them up in a place that you can see them daily as a reminder that when the Lord pulls you out of your comfort zone its for something greater than you can imagine! Let go of who you are not and embrace who God is making you to be.

"But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in my weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Hello Mornings Challenge

 

 

This is usually what my mornings look like: Hit snooze over and over again, then finally jump up out of bed and race to the kitchen. I tell myself that I'll read my bible after I take the kids to school. Then I quickly scramble some eggs, while I'm fixing plates and drinks I'm hollering "Kids its time to get up!". We quickly exchange hugs and then I tell them they have to hurry and eat so they can start getting ready. I run put there clothes in the dryer and then run to go threw on my own clothes. I run back into the dining room and yell, "EAT, EAT, EAT!" Then they get done and go brush their teeth and get dressed. While they're doing that I hurry and make their lunch and get it put in their lunch boxes. Next I run out and crank the car if its cold. When I come back in if we have time I fix Bailey's hair, if not it gets thrown into a pony tail. We hurry out the door and I get them to school. By the time I get home I'm like wait what just happened? I'm so hurried and my day as already been full of chaos and now I don't think I have time to read my bible so I tell myself I'll do it at lunch. Lunch rolls around still never happens. AAAAHHHH this chaos must end!

 

So I am participating in the Hello Mornings Challenge! What is the Hello Morning Challenge? Its women from all over the world holding each other accountable to wake up in the mornings before their family and have quiet time with the Lord. You can read more about what it is here. Check out www.hellomornings.com and read about the importance of saying hello to the morning.

 

I am so excited because this time I am Accountability Captain! You can join me on Twitter to take part in the challenge. I am not a morning person at all! I would much rather lay in the bed, seriously I wish the day could begin at 10am. But I am determined to get past this. You can check out these great transformational tips.

 

As part of the challenge we will be doing a FREE study called Abounding Hope. Its a study designed for busy women and should only take about 15 mins a day. Once you register for the challenge then they will send the study to you.

 

Interested in the challenge yet? Registration begins TODAY. Go here to register. When you move on to step 2 to set your Accountability Captain look under the Twitter section and the under Central Time. Then just click on my name Alicia Payne and follow the directions there and move on to step 3. Or you can try this link and then complete step 1 and 3.

 

If you have any questions you can visit here for FAQ.

 

If you sign up in my group all you have to do each morning is hop on twitter and just say "OK I'm up!", or something like that, and use the hash tag #joyfulmornings. The challenge begins January 28th and goes through April 26th. Registration starts today and ends January 23rd. I really hope you join me on this challenge! Hope to see you there!

 



My Crew

I have several post in mind for the next couple of weeks, but today I have a sick little girl at home so I thought I'd share some pictures with you of my crew.

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These are my awesome kids bailey and Nathan.

 



 

This is my sweet Bailey. When she smiles at you, you can't help but smile back. She has a sweet kind spirit. She cares so much for other people. She hurts when they hurt and cries when they cry. She loves deeply. She says when she grows up she wants to care for babies, she says she doesn't care if she earns money doing it she just wants to care for the babies. She teaches me so much about kindness and forgiveness. She has such a deep love for the Lord and loves to tell others about Him. My life was forever changed when I had her and I thank God everyday that He allows me to be her mother.

 

 

This is my Nathan. What a little man. He has dimples that will make you melt when he smiles. He loves to hunt, fish, and play with legos. His mind is always working. He's a thinker. He loves stories and loves to laugh. He's hitting that silly boy stage and has so much energy. He's tough and such a little man, but he is tender and kind. He wears his heart on his sleeve. His daddy is his biggest hero. He's an encourager. He claps for his sister when she practices piano. He is an awesome helper. He is so loving and kind. I know he will make an awsome husband and father some day. He teaches me about beinging tender and soft hearted. The first year of his life was tough for me he cried all the time and I didn't sleep much, but it was worth it. Every sleepless night taught me how to be selfless. I'm so thankful for this sweet little man.

 

This is my hubby Justin. He'd kill me if he knew I put this picture up haha. I took this Christmas Eve at my mom's house. He is the love of my life. We met at 14 and it didn't take long for me to fall in love. But being the stupid teenager I was I would break up with him then get back together then break up again. I wish I never put him through that. But here we are today standing strong. We will celebrate our 8th wedding anniversarry in March. I'm so thankful for this man. Sure we have our ups and downs but our love only grows stronger. He's a true outdoorsman, a redneck at heart. I love the fact that he can go out in the woods and kill a deer or go to a lake and catch some fish, I feel a sense of security knowing that no matter what happens he can always provide. He's a very hard worker. I love when he comes home in the evenings and wraps his strong arms around me. He is truely my best friend and loves me for me.

 

 

And heres just a couple of shots of me.

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The pictures of my kids and me were taken my friend Jennifer Salter. Check out her blog! 

 

 

 

 

 

Encouraging Posts and a Poem

I found some really encouraging posts this week that I wanted to share. The poem was emailed to me and it really helps put things in perspective. Enjoy!

Have You Lost Your Edge? By Courtney at Women Living Well

Where to Find Joy When You are Worn and Weary by Patti at Joyful Mama

Fire Building for Moms (An Analogy for the New Year) by Kat at Inspired to Action

And Whatever You Do by Michelle at Somegirls website

1st Corinthians 13 for Moms by Katie at Life with Jack

If I Had My Child to Raise Over Again

by Diana Loomans

 

 

If I had my child to raise over again,

I'd finger paint more, and point the finger less.

I'd do less correcting, and more connecting.

I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.

I would care to know less, and know to care more.

I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.

I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I'd run through more fields, and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging, and less tugging.
I would be firm less often, and affirm much more.
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I'd teach less about the love of power, and more about the power of love.
It matters not whether my child is big or small, from this day forth, I'll cherish it all.



Looking for a Life Vest?

Do you ever feel like your drowning? And no one notices? You try harder and harder to kick your feet and paddle your arms but you can't keep your head above water, no one throws you a life vest. You try to cry out for help but your lungs fill up with water and you can't seem to call out. You can't save yourself and you don't see anyone around that's willing to help you, so what do you do? Do you continue to struggle and fight and where yourself out trying to save yourself or do you just give up?

Have you ever felt like this in life? Like it takes all you have just to get out of bed in the mornings? You're doing everything you can to serve your family but your still behind and things just keep piling up. Do you feel alone? Like no one even notices that your struggles and wonder if they do notice, do they even care?

Let me tell you that you are not the only one who feels this way. I've been there and to be honest I'm there right now. But I'm going to throw you a life vest. Grab onto it and hang on tight because this is the only thing that will save you, that will give you peace, that will show you even if it seems everyone around you doesn't care that there is someone who does care.

 

Its the Word of the Lord.

 

Scripture tells us:

"When anxiety was great within me, your consultation brought joy to my soul." Psalm 94:19

"Cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you" 1 Peter 5:7

"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

"Be anxious about nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6

"Thou will keep perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on thee; because he trust in thee." Isaiah 26:3

 

Girlfriend let me tell you, when you are feeling alone, drowning, hurting there is one place you can always turn to its God's Word. Here in His Word is where we can find Him and know Him. In Scripture we can find peace and comfort. We can find advice and instruction. We can see people who are struggling and drowning but the Lord brings them out of captivity and does great things in their lives. Just look at Moses or David or Paul. Look what He did for Joseph. I am determined more than ever to spend time in His Word everyday.

 

I have always struggled with reading my Bible I may have like a week where I read every day and then a month or two may go by before I pick it up again. I need to be more consistent. I need Scripture at the forefront of my mind everyday. I need to drink it in and soak it up. But needing and doing are two totally different things.

 

I came across a Bible study plan the other day and when I saw the title I knew it was for me, Read Through The Bible Program for Shirkers and Slakers. Slacker hits the nail on the head. I say I'm to busy to read but honestly if I have time to watch my favorite show Duck Dynasty I have time to read my Bible. This plan is great each days reading material only takes about 15 mins. This explains why this is a good plan for people like me.

 

 So if you want to join me on getting your attention more on the Word and what God teaches me about who He is and who I am then you can find the plan here. I'll be praying for you!

 

Travel Activities for Kids

We have lived in Texas for 6 years now. We are originally from the great state of Mississippi. All of our family is still there except for my mom, she lives here. We go down to visit at least twice a year. Its an about 8-10 hour drive depending on traffic and if the kids decide to throw up in the car. We usually travel at night so the kids can sleep most of the way but sometimes even then they are so excited they can't sleep.
The past few times we have gone my hubby has wanted to go in the pick up, which I hate doing by the way. We have TVs in my van and just makes the ride go by so much faster for the kids. I usually let them pack a backpack with toys and books that get strode all over the truck and not played with much. Well thanks to my pinterest obsession addiction interest I was able to put together some travel activities for the kids that kept them entertained the whole trip!
The idea first came to me when I saw busy binders like this.  Then I found this one and it really helped me plan some stuff for my kiddos.

First I bought a little bin to put things in, then I got a 2 binders, 2 pencil bags, page protectors, notebook paper, colors, pencils, and dry erase markers.
I put half of a pack of paper in each binder. My kids LOVE to draw! I can't keep paper around the house. Next I started looking for activities. The first thing I found was this awesome word search! You can enter in the words you want to use and it creates the word search for you. I did all sorts of different ones, some with our names and things they like to do and some with holidays and activities.

The next thing I found were these blank face printables. They had all different ones to color and draw in the eyes, nose, and lips
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Then I found some color sheets kind of like this one. I had some others but I couldn't find the pin for them. Next I drew different sized circles, triangles, squares, and rectangles on a piece of paper and at the top I wrote What Can You Create With These Shapes? They used their imagination and created different pictures with each shape. I put these in page protectors so they could used dry erase markers to draw on it over and over.

Next, I made up a fun questionnaire for them to answer, like what do you hope we will get to do on our trip or what is your favorite thing to eat at maw maws.





I made extras of everything that went into their binders and put them in a separate folder in our bags so I could refill their binders for things to do on the way home.The next fun thing I made were I Spy jars. I use a quart size mason jar and filled it with rice and little knick knacks from the Dollar Store.



Then I took a picture of what was in each jar. I put both picture on my copier and copied them on a sheet of paper. I but the copied pictures in a page protector so the kids could check off each item with a dry erase marker as they found it.

The last things I added to their bin was a couple of coloring books, their iPods, tissue to wipe the dry erase off with, a book, and an activity book for Dollar Tree. I also packed a separate bin just like the one bellow with snacks so we wouldn't have to buy any when we stopped. My kids really did have a lot of fun with these and they still played with the stuff even after we got home.